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Writer's pictureJohnny Vajra

Nature v. Nurture: The choices we make will shape our fate

In life, we often make unconscious deals with ourselves, choosing certain aspects of suffering in pursuit of greater joy. We sacrifice the little things for what we perceive as the greater good. But what if these choices, once serving us in the past, have now become obstacles to our growth?


Oscar Wilde once said,


"It is through art, and through art only, that we can realize our perfection; through art and art only that we can shield ourselves from the sordid perils of actual existence."

This is the essence of the ‘nature versus nurture’ debate, which suggests that we have the power to shape our lives through our choices and actions.


What if the great thing we once chose is now the very thing limiting our potential?


What is that thing in your life causing suffering, yet you cling to it in the belief that it's necessary for some greater purpose?


  • Is it a demanding job that promises future success but robs you of present happiness?


  • A relationship that you hope will improve but consistently brings you down?


  • Or perhaps a habit you justify as a coping mechanism, even as it holds you back?


It's time to raise awareness of the greater possibilities that await us if we acknowledge that our past choices may no longer serve us.

Let’s Play a game! Try these Practices:


Raise awareness of our past choices:

  1. Close your eyes.

  2. Relax your body. Perform a quick scan and notice any tense parts of your body. Invite them to relax as well.

  3. Take a moment to reflect on your life.

  4. Identify those "little things" you might need to sacrifice to make room for something truly great. It could be letting go of comfort zones, facing fears, or abandoning outdated beliefs.


Great job! 🥳💪🏽👌🏽

Awareness is a practice in itself. Nothing to do but be more present with your thoughts, feelings, habits, and patterns.

Next practice is extra credit, for all you over-achievers out there 🤓


Connect with our WILL to choose our perception of reality:

  1. Accept that those things you identified from the past are present in this current moment. If it feels cringey to do so, tell yourself out loud, “I forgive you.”

  2. Receive the forgiveness with a deep inhale.

  3. Release with an exhale.

  4. Follow the next inhale with a “Thank You.”

  5. Exhale. Do this 3 times.

  6. Next inhale, and say out loud to yourself, “I love you.”

  7. Notice whether the body expands or contracts when you hear yourself say this to yourself.

  8. Accept whatever feeling arises. This is one more step towards self acceptance!

  9. Say “Thank You3 more times. Visualize sending one “Thank You” to your heart, another above your head, and another all the way up into infinite space.

  10. Open your eyes.

  11. Resume your normal routine.

  12. Witness any changes in your thoughts about yourself and your perception of reality throughout the day.  

  13. Write down any new thoughts, beliefs, ideas, or patterns that appear. Even one word written makes an impact towards change. Download a journal app if its more convenient for you. I use Day One for iPhone. (No affiliation, feel free to use whatever you desire)


Experiment with these practice for 7 days, ideally in the morning. If you notice anything significant, expand the experiment another 7 days.


On average, it takes ~66 days to form a new habit. Some studies have shown as little as 18 days!

Incorporating practices (habits) like the ones above encourage positive self expression that ripples into every aspect of our reality. They open us up to perceive opportunities for more positive thoughts, feelings, experiences, growth, and ultimately, a more fulfilling life.


Gamification is a great tool for getting things done. We all enjoy playing games, right? How about we try playing games that shape our reality in all the best ways.

Remember, ‘nature versus nurture’ isn't just about genetics and environment –


It’s about recognizing our power to nurture our own nature.


We have the ability to shape our lives, to choose our responses to circumstances, and to cultivate the qualities we wish to embody.


We are concious beings with choice.


So, what will you choose? Will you continue to nurture old patterns, or will you dare to nurture a new, more authentic version of yourself?


The choice, as always, is yours. 🪄💖🪩

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